Ebonyi state house of assembly member, Hon
Maria Ude Nwachi, popularly known as 'Nwanyi Afikpo' has written a lengthy
piece to popular blogger Linda Ikeji over the recent statements she made about
marriage and the kind of man she would love to marry.
The lawmaker who considers Linda’s statement an
affront on humanity, said Linda should know that no condition is permanent.
According to her, Linda can’t have it both ways and must learn to humble herself if she truly wants to find a man who will marry her. Read what she wrote after the cut....
According to her, Linda can’t have it both ways and must learn to humble herself if she truly wants to find a man who will marry her. Read what she wrote after the cut....
"Linda, you cannot
have it both ways.....
I personally did a lot of damage control for Linda Ikeji when it
was alleged she said; she can buy any man with her money. I sincerely did not
believe she can utter such; as I could not imagine any reasonable human being
saying such. I defended her with all my might. I Paid Facebook and Google to
boost and promote the article I took my time to create, image-making style, in
order to squash that allegation.
Remember, I do not know her in any shape. Never met her. Never
spoken with her. I know her the same way millions do, via the fact that she is
famous blogger. I Just did it from my heart; for I see her as a role model to
women and youths. And I did not want such dent on her image.
Recently, power-blogger, Linda Ikeji, told an interviewer that she
can never marry a poor man. Hear her: "No, I can’t marry a poor guy and
I’m being honest about it. He doesn’t have to be rich but let him be successful
in his own way. When I was 30, my standards were extremely high. Now, I have
only three criteria. He must be successful. He must be a good man in the sense
that he has to be very supportive of what I do. If he tries to stifle me, I’m
out. The third one, is the one that likes to eat groceries well (laughs)."n
On her latest statement, I do not agree with her at all. Firstly;
a rich man is nothing but a poor man with money. And; no condition in life is
ever permanent.
The scariest thing for a man to hear is not even the one of her saying she can't marry a poor man, it is the one she says that she would be out if a man tries to stifle her. Then she better just create the man from scratch. Because there is no man, especially African man, that will not attempt to stifle his wife every now and then.
The scariest thing for a man to hear is not even the one of her saying she can't marry a poor man, it is the one she says that she would be out if a man tries to stifle her. Then she better just create the man from scratch. Because there is no man, especially African man, that will not attempt to stifle his wife every now and then.
That innocuous utterance has already sent strong signals to those
successful men she is seeking that they better go and marry someone that will
not attempt to wear the trouser at home with them; and not her. It also
indicates to those successful men she wants that she will never be submissive
in anyway to them; that she no send and is ready for a divorce at any given
time. She is basically preempting divorce even before marriage.
The major reason men, especially African men are working hard to
be successful is so they can get that woman they want, that will give them a
peaceful home, and the leeway to be the oga of the house. Why would a man go
through it all to make it only to marry a woman who is going to become the man
of the house with him.
Important: A man is a man, poor or rich. No man with his head in
intact, will be okay for a woman to control him. Even if the woman is richer
than money itself. It will not happen. Even the poorest man on earth would
rather be eating his Indomie in peace than to be controlled by any woman. This
applies even in the civilized world. This not about pride, this is human
nature.
On money: Being rich, poor or broke is not a permanent state of
being. Moreover; money is not the be all and end all of life. Some people are
very rich today not just by hard work but by force of universe which can also
be interpreted as grace. Let us not dismiss people based on their current
condition. Moreover, he only thing constant in life is change.
Hear Linda, "I keep telling people. It’s not that men are
scarce. They are not scarce. The type of men that some of us are looking for
are scarce. If I want to get married next week, I can. I want a man that I can
look up to. Somebody that inspires me, somebody that will push me, motivate me;
somebody who has had some success in his own career. I’m inspired by successful
people. I can’t wait to meet someone like Tyler Perry."
Now let us talk about the definition of success. According to her,
she wants to marry a successful man, but the man does not have to be rich. This
is a huge oxymoron (an epigrammatic effect, by which contradictory terms are
used in conjunction). Success is defined as; the accomplishment of an aim or
purpose. And it does not take a genius to understand that by successful, she
means a wealthy man. A man of means. Going by the example she gives as her kind
of man, Tyler Perry, she has dropped all the hint any one needs to know
concerning her idea of a successful man. Perry is an ultra-rich American actor,
comedian, producer, director, screenwriter, playwright, author, and
songwriter.
The problem i see with Linda is that she is often too open about
her feelings. I will advise that in her search for a man that she should keep
some of her criterias private. This is not America, this is not oyibo land
where women can say and do anything with minimal or no consequence. Emotional
intelligence is knowing your environment and adapting to it; especially when it
comes to utterances, actions etc. It is not everything the heart conceives that
must be uttered publicly.
Dear Linda, you can't have it both ways. You can't eat your cake
and have it too. Being a very successful woman in Nigeria, you must be willing
to compromise when it comes to relationships with the opposite sex. You might
not be a girl, due to your high level, a man can tell what to do or what not to
do, but you must not say such out loud, you must give vibes that you can be
told what to do by your man, you must do your best to show them the utmost
respect, the most respect you can muster to give them. You are going to have to
eat humble pies for your man many a times. And it is okay my darling, it will
take nothing away from you. Let the man to feel he is in control. You must try
and do that. It is not an option, it is necessary.
By your success alone, you have made many men feel a bit less
manly, and so to even rub it in by reading them riot acts to them, is an
overkill. Humility is a natural gift, those who are humble by nature will
remain humble even if they become the richest on earth. But humility can be
learned too, in dealing with the opposite sex you will need a mighty doze of
humility, nnem, learn it if by force biko. Always remember that a man is a man
is man is a man. Respect matter to a man; no matter his status and class.
Linda, in the end you will have the last laugh, when you are
running around with your cute kids doing one or two things and your hubby by
your side. When you are compromising and eating them humble pies, think of your
family (your own kid/s and man) and it will all be worth it.
By virtue of you being a very successful woman, African woman for that matter, no matter who you marry, it is not going to be easy. But if you do your math properly, do some adjustments and amendments, you won't have any regrets. Life as we know it is not a bed of roses for anyone, if you have this, you might not have that, so it's all about compromise and middle-ground.
By virtue of you being a very successful woman, African woman for that matter, no matter who you marry, it is not going to be easy. But if you do your math properly, do some adjustments and amendments, you won't have any regrets. Life as we know it is not a bed of roses for anyone, if you have this, you might not have that, so it's all about compromise and middle-ground.
You are a very public figure. Your public utterances must be
guided. By virtue of your rag to riches success story; you have become an
involuntary role model to many; including me. You are intelligent but you need
to take a class on emotional intelligence. Be very mindful of your public
statements please. I wish you more success in life. Thank you.
Sincerely yours,
Maria Ude Nwachi (Afikpo Chic).
#BCEL - Best Chic Ever Liveth (Nwanyi Afikpo)."
Maria Ude Nwachi (Afikpo Chic).
#BCEL - Best Chic Ever Liveth (Nwanyi Afikpo)."
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